Unfortunately, there isn’t one; there’s never going to be an easy way to tell someone that you no longer want to work for them. But there are a few things you can do along the way to make it as pain-free as possible.
My experiences
I personally have had two very different experiences when preparing to hand my notice in.
The first, I hadn’t enjoyed my work for a long time, there were a few people in the office that I got along well with, but mostly there was an atmosphere throughout the office that I really didn’t like. I’d been given a pay rise, and it still hadn’t made me any happier. I knew I no longer wanted to be there and that there was nothing that they could do to change that. I started my job hunt, and a role at a company I really wanted to work for came available, which I was offered. I was terrified of handing in my notice because I was petrified of the people I worked for. Don’t get me wrong, I was excited to be leaving, but I really wished I could have resigned without having to do it face-to-face. I’m awful with confrontation, some people respond to it well, I just cry, and that was the last thing I wanted to do when I told them I was leaving, I wanted them to see that I was happy to be leaving and that I was confident in my decision. Following the advice of my family I wrote down what I wanted to say and I decided exactly when I was going to hand my notice in. When the time came I didn’t stall, I shut my eyes, took a deep breath and walked into the Director’s office. I handed him my letter of resignation, we spoke for a while about my reasons, he offered me more money to stay, and I declined. I left his office feeling so proud of myself; I’d said everything that I wanted to say and I hadn’t cried! I was asked the next day by my Regional Manager to leave with immediate effect as I would be going to a competitor and informed that I would be paid my full notice period.
My other experience was vastly different. Towards the end of my time at the company, it was made very clear to me that the progression I wanted was not possible. At this point, I made the decision to leave. I was completely torn in half – so excited to be taking the next step in my career with an exciting new company but devastated that I would have to leave my team. I was distraught about leaving as I loved my current team, we were only a small office so we’d become more like family than colleagues, and as a result, there was a real sense of camaraderie between us. But I’d become thoroughly disenchanted by a company that I had once loved. The fact that I felt the future was uncertain for our office made it even harder, especially with it being such a small team. I didn’t want to be “the straw that broke the camel’s back”, I didn’t want to be the reason that they lost their jobs and even if that wasn’t to be the case I certainly didn’t want to leave them in the lurch. How do you tell someone you’re leaving when you don’t want to leave THEM? Eventually, my family convinced me that I had to put myself first and that my team would understand my reasons. The next day I asked my manager if we could have a chat and I told him I was leaving. I was so sad that I had to leave them behind. My family were right, though, he did understand and so did the rest of my team.
So what have I learnt from these experiences?
Make sure you’re doing it for the right reasons
Establish what your reasons are for wanting to leave. For me – in the case of my second experience – I felt I was underpaid, unappreciated and unable to progress my career. Once you’ve got a clear idea of what these ‘push factors’ are, address them with the appropriate person before you start attending interviews, to determine if they can be resolved. As the saying goes, “if you don’t ask, you don’t get!” If you haven’t aired these with your manager, how can you know that it isn’t a possibility? You might be thinking “.. if they thought I deserved a pay rise, surely I shouldn’t have to ask” which is true. However, if you’ve been upfront with your employer about your frustrations and they’ve told you that they can’t resolve it or worse still, they’re not prepared to do anything about it then at least you know where you stand, especially when it comes to tendering your resignation.
So how do I tell my boss “I quit”?
Firstly, plan out how and when it’s going to happen. Make sure you know which days your boss should be available to talk and block out some time specifically. Prepare your resignation letter – a good Recruitment Consultant will be able to assist you with this – and have it printed out ready to go. Be very clear in your mind about your reasons for wanting to leave but even more focused on why you want to join your new company. If you’re prone to getting extremely nervous in these sorts of situations – like me – take yourself to a private area and perhaps try power posing for two minutes before you go into your meeting. I struggle in even remotely stressful situations and have found that Amy Cuddy’s TED Talk ‘Your body language shapes who you are’ really helps me – watch it here http://www.ted.com/talks/amy_cuddy_your_body_language_shapes_who_you_are. If you go into the situation feeling as calm as possible, you are more likely to communicate everything that you wanted to.
Secondly, even if you really despise your current employer, avoid the ‘going out in a blaze of glory’ approach. Telling someone to “take the job and shove it” can be a huge mistake. You may have seen hilarious examples of people doing this across social media that can make it look like a brilliant idea, but in reality, this is rarely the case for many reasons:
- You’ll never be able to rely on them for a reference
- You can easily damage your reputation with your colleagues
- You could ruin your chances of being re-employed by them in the future
I know what you’re thinking, why would you want to be re-employed by them if you hated it enough to tell them to “shove it” in the first place? Ever heard the phrase “Be careful the bridges you’re willing to burn when trying to get ahead, you never know when you’ll need them again”? Imagine if a few years down the line they grow to become this fantastic company that actually, you could really see yourself working for, if you quit in a flamboyant fashion you risk damaging your reputation with not only those at the top but also your colleagues, how do you think you’d fare if you applied to work there again a few years later?
This isn’t to say you shouldn’t leave with a smile on your face; this does mark the next exciting step in your career after all! In the words of my mother “Be selfish, it’s your career; it’s your life. You can’t stay somewhere that’s making you miserable just to make others happy”. Just make sure you are the better person by remaining calm while others perhaps overreact and leave with all loose ends tied up, and your head held high.
Lastly, always make sure you do it in person where possible, no matter how uncomfortable the situation. If anything is agreed during your meeting, such as a reduced notice period, then make sure to get it confirmed in writing!
The final stage… the not so glamorous counter offer
If you’ve spoken to the appropriate person and given them a chance to resolve your issue(s) before starting your job hunt then when you come to handing in your notice you can be sure that anything they counter offer with – this can be monetary, hierarchical or emotional e.g. “how can you do this to us!?” – Is for your line manager’s benefit and not yours as it’s cheaper and less painful for them to give you what you want now than it is to take on someone new and train them up. Accepting a counter offer is a bit like papering over a crack; those frustrations you felt will always be there, and before you know it, they’ll be resurfacing, and you’ll be back at square one. Nothing will have changed!
You also need to consider the way that others may view you if you do a U-turn and decide to stay. They’ll inevitably trust you less, as all those “doctors’ appointments” you had – or whatever excuse you used so that you could go to interviews – will now be seen as deceit and from now on every time you are away from the office, people will start to question what you’re really up to. This can make for an even more uncomfortable work environment.
If you were unhappy enough to want to leave in the first place, be true to yourself and be confident in your decision.
